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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?