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I have been friends for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered many challenges, which I admire. Yet, she has been constantly caught off guard by others. Her partner walked away, which came as a massive blow. Many of her friends disappeared then, because they seemed focused solely on the spouse. It shocked her. She put in greater energy toward our bond, likely understood better the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, many of her friends have disappeared without her being sure why. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was highly competent, she departed without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we have each retired leading to more each other more, yet I realize my role in our friendship is to listen. I start subjects but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she has firm beliefs. I try to propose double-checking information and alternate views.

She has been arranging a trip abroad I have traveled to on several occasions and lived in for some time. I tried to provide advice, yet it was met with resistance. She purely only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I have come back from 30 days in that country and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to be a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly grasp the consequences of her actions on my confidence. Currently, I am in pulling back. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could end things abruptly, but it is rarely the easy answer that we desire. But confrontation with a view to a solution takes courage and readiness on both your parts.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state what typically happens when you talk. It should be objective and clear like exactly what occurs. The second involves sharing how this leaves you feeling. This allows for no argument on this point. Emotions are valid, of course. Finally involves requesting ways you together can shift the pattern of your friendship."

Consider she too has a point of view, meaning you must to stay open to listen to her. An approach that works is to say your friend:

"Now you talk and I promise to remain silent for half an hour."

This can be impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore all you say, as some people hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a story regarding their experiences they cannot let go of since their identity relies on it and it's all they trust. It's tough as there is no clear path here, mere obstacles. But she may start out this way and then think about what you've said. If you never reach an agreement, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were truthful.